Unsolicited advice is the worst—especially
when it comes from people who don't practice what they preach. And when
your big O is on the line, you can't bullshit around with tips that
won't do anything for you down there—or any of your erogenous zones,
really. So instead of simply asking experts for sex tips, we pressed
them to reveal what *they* actually do in bed to climax. Because if
sexologists don't know how to have a mind-blowing orgasm, what the hell
are we even doing?
1. Pucker Up
"This
is so simple, but so necessary...and it's maintaining the habit of
kissing my husband before he leaves the house every morning. Research
has shown that this (and a kiss before bedtime) is beneficial to any
relationship, and it's a great way to stay affectionate and connected
even when time doesn't allow more. Sexually speaking, it keeps intimacy
on our radar, which helps us be more responsive other actions in the
bed." –sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D.
2. Hit the Toy Store
"I've
found one of the best ways to enhance my sex life is to introduce new
products. It not only mixes things up—which we all know is key to having
an expansive, fulfilling sex life—but partners get just as excited to
try something new, whether it's a new lubricant (not just for dryness or
discomfort!) or the way the vibrations feel on their bodies." –
sexologist Emily Morse, host of Sex with Emily
3. Give Yourself a Hand
"Don't
forget to masturbate even if you have a partner. Enjoy solo sex
often—it's good for health and mood, and besides, it just feels so
nice." —Joan Price, author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain–or Regain!–a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life
4. Tidy Up
"Create
an environment that is stress-free and reduces as many external
distractions as possible. I clean, turn off the TV, silence my phone,
turn off the computer and even turn the clock away so I can't see the
time. This helps to release feel-good endorphins like dopamine, which
motivates our pleasure and reward center in our brain." —Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of NeuroLoveology, the Power to Mindful Love and Sex
5. Don't Focus on Your Orgasm
"It's
not always about the orgasm. There is immense pressure to be a
rock-star-sex-goddess in the bedroom 24/7 as a sexologist. My partner
and I will kick it old school and make out, cuddle, or give each other a
nice sensual massage. There is something inherently intimate to be
touching your partner in all of these different ways. Try exploring
their body for your pleasure. Not that sex doesn't evoke similar
feelings, but it's a different kind of feeling. Of course, the
aforementioned activities can totally be followed by orgasm-filled sex,
but just those activities can leave me satisfied. It's always reassuring
that you can still feel good about the sex you have and relish in the
pleasure, orgasm or not." —sexologist and relationship expert Megan Stubbs
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